i am whole

i am sad 

sometimes it hits me as i smile

sometimes it grabs me when i laugh

sometimes it surrounds me in a room full of friends

i am lonely

sometimes when i am in a crowd

sometimes when I sit next to the one i love

sometimes when my heart is singing

i am crying

tears come in town

tears come at the dinner table

tears come when love surrounds me

my heart aches

You are my strength

my soul mourns

You are my comfort

my dreams shatter

You are my hope

my world collapses 

You remain the same

i am sad

i am lonely

i am crying

but i am whole

___________

I was sitting at the dinner table tonight when, bang, this came. I hopped up and grabbed a pen and some paper and began to scribble away. This is a bit of what my heart has been learning about God. . .  I have been seeing how good God is and how his goodness has nothing to do with my circumstances. It makes me so excited to be alive and knowing that my good God is in control brings me with wonderful peace. to know that even when I feel sad, lonely, or find myself crying, (moving is not for the faint of heart) I really am whole. . . really really. :) (note: not all the above is true to life. in other words not all of what is written is totally about me. i have an imagination. some is experience, some is imagination. but the part about God is very true to life.)