trust me, you say
trust makes me laugh
i won’t run, you say
you don’t know what you’re saying
rejected many times
run from over and over
stabbed in the back by "lovers"
and you ask me to trust you
i laugh in your face
you look at me calmly
once again you say, trust me
i stare into your eyes
i don’t know why you are here
i don’t think you’ll last
i become even more horrible
just to test you
i hurt you
i pretend to hate you
i laugh at you
just to see if you’ll run
you stay
my ugliness doesn’t scare you away
trust me, you say
i stare deep into your eyes and wonder. . .
____________________________________
I sat down to write something and this came. It wasn't what I intended to write. But this is what came. . . maybe someday i will get to write what I was planning on writing. Maybe not. This is another one in my latest 'series' of writings. It's seems that lately most of my writing has a common theme or whatever. The whole 'someone struggling aching for someone to REALLY care'. Maybe cause I know so many of those people. Maybe cause I know that we all find ourselves there at one time or another. Maybe cause I'm tired of the lack of action, the caught up in our own agenda style of living I find myself, and so many of our churches living. I write as much to myself as I do to others. God talks to me, first. To the people who take the time to read my clumsy writings, second. I know we, the Church of Christ, CAN change the world. But I wonder. . . will we??
So if my writings all sound the same lately. I'm sorry. I guess what's been on my heart lately just comes out and beings it's been the same thing of late, my writings are the same of late. . . :( :)
5 comments:
No, I don't think that your writings are clumsy. Though they have somewhat of a common theme, they are full of feeling. Feelings that people really feel. They have a realness to them.
Will we change the world? No. We change hearts. The world is of this world. The heart is of the eternal. Look at the hearts around you, not the world around you, individuals, not crowds.
I don't know if that's what you were talking about but maybe it is maybe it isn't.
thanks, Tony. . .
Actually Tony I mean exactly what you are saying. Only I think that you change the world when you are involved in the changing of one heart. :) Because to that one person the world is changed. I know it sounds sorta weird but that sorta how I see it. :) I don't want to change 'the world', I want to change the hearts in the world, which. . . is changing the world. lol. Sorry if I've totally confused you. . . it's kinda hard to explain. :)
wow, Brit. that was amazing. I love the ending... it's so... real. You don't have to explain... this one stands on its own. I so know what you're talking about. For me this applies to trusting God as much as trusting people around me. It's a lot harder to trust God when times get hard because I start to blame Him for how things are going... I just heard that song the other day and it hit me again... "my love is over, it's underneath, it's inside, it's in between..."
hey brit, i read this and i knew exactly what u were saying and i wish i didn't, not because its bad, or because i don't care about people, but because iv done this and prolly will again. holding potential friends responsible for past hurts.thanks for reminding me.i so want to be there cause i know theres nothing the human heart wants more then to know its hurts and allow others to love them anyway.
nope, not confused at all. :)
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