my heart feels. . . broken. broken into a million pieces. it aches. it bleeds. it hurts.
there are so many pieces. so many tears. so much pain. i don't know where to begin putting it back together again.
tentatively, i pick up one tiny fragment. my finger begins to bleed. somewhere in the midst of the breaking, my heart has died. now it is brittle. hard. empty.
the endless darkness. the constant weeping. the lack of vision. everything is closing in on me.
God, where are you?? I can't seem to find You. Do you even care??
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This year has been one of the toughest years that I can remember. It feels like it's been one thing after the other for so long. My heart feels really raw, very broken. Friday night I was finally able to write about it. I haven't been able to put words to my emotions for a long time. So this is where life finds me. Trust me, the words above are not yet complete, neither is the picture. But right now I don't know how this will end. I don't know what 'words' God will give me to get me through this all. So I can't complete it until I'm remotely close to the end. . . So I wait, and hope that when this battle is over I will still be sane.
9 comments:
i like the picture. Its very neat.
i liked how you worded this.
beautiful..
and responding to your sweet comment on my little blog- :)
well, honestly i didnt think i looked good in dark rimmed glasses until i found these. haha, most of them made me look geeky and scientist-like... and thats definitely not the look that I'm trying to pull off. lol.
thanks for the comment. loves ya.
Keep Seeking HIM!
thanx for the texts.:)
Brit, God is shaping and molding you. Just wait until you see the completed work, it will be BEAUTIFUL!! I know it hurts, it has been hard for me,too. seeing you in all the pain and brokeness. But again and again I have to give you to God, he loves you much, much more then I do. My Redeemer lives and God is faithful. One day you will come forth as GOLD. I love you dearly, Mom
Hey Brit, I like the thoughts, but could you give me somthing more up to date
heyy!
my email is..
emzdoodle21@yahoo.com
.... for the pics that you said you'd email!
much love!
wow that picture... and the post... I can feel for you... honestly I hate it when ppl say, "I know what you're going through"... But I do know what you mean about writing in your journal... it's been a hard summer for me and writing in my journal just hasn't happened... I miss it...and yet... yeah I just haven't. Ok this is a random comment... BUT I love your picture...and I pray God continues to help you through this time!!!
~Erin
Brittany,
Wow. Ok, so I read this last week when you told us what your blog was. Unlike Carrie - I actually love to read (probably stems from my love of writing!)
Anyhow, I want to say that I really appreciate you sharing your heart here. I have felt like this time and time again...but the Lord is always faithful. Like the song we sang last week at IPS: "Light of the world You stepped down into darkness, Opened my eyes - let me see!" What a freedom!! :) Also, your b&w high contrast picture in this post is really great - it grabs your heart and emotionally pulls me into it and tells me a story. :) Great job!!
I love you bunches Brittany, hope you are having a great time camping with your family this week!!
Love,
Ruth Ann
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