here I am

I just realized that it's been almost a month since I've updated. A very very busy month. I love this time of year. . . But sometimes I wish it would let up a little. It seems like I always have something to do, somewhere to be and while that's gobs of fun, I also get really tired of it.

For Thanksgiving we were in PA. That was gobs of fun. We were all stuck in the same house for a little over 4 days. It's not a big house. There were lots of kids running about. We had "our" Christmas Wednesday night. That was cool. It started snowing on Thursday, then stopped on Friday sometime. It was so pretty. I wish we would get snow like that. I was walking on Friday, the sun was going down and there were these gigantic snowflakes falling around me and on me. It makes you want to be a little kid again.
On Saturday we went to my uncles house (my dad's brother). I got to some of my cousins from Arkansas too. That was cool. I didn't get to go to our Coblentz family reunion this year so I missed out on seeing most of my cousins. It was a nice way to catch up on what's happening in there lives.

Introspection:










I know I haven't really told a lot of whats happening around me but I feel rather introspection-ish right now.

Imagine a God who loves you exceedingly. I know you've heard that all your life but humor me for a little here. Now imagine a human. A human who knows how much works can play into love. A human who knows all about hurt. A human who hurts others in return. A human who knows all too well what a fool/sinner he is. In your imagination you see this human weeping yet again over something they messed up on. Knowing that they will never gain God's love and thinking about how frustrated He must be with them. Now imagine someone telling that person exactly what God thinks of them about that mistake. How God may be disappointed but that could never ever change how much He loves them. No matter what this human does God will love him anyway. That when God looks at him (the human) He sees Jesus. Now imagine what the human feels. He knows exactly how much God loves Jesus and that's how much God loves him? How can this be?!? That human is me. That someone is a combination of a friend of mine and someone I heard preach. I'm so grateful to her/him for showing me what God really thinks of me. I can finally understand the words, "Could we with ink the ocean fill, and were the skies of parchment made, Were every stalk on earth a quill, and every man a scribe by trade, To write the love of God above, Would drain the ocean dry. Nor could the scroll contain the whole, Though stretched from sky to sky." It fills me with awe. God loves me that much?!? No matter what I do?!? It makes me want to dance. . . It makes me smile. I'm beginning to see how little what people think of you matters. Notice I said beginning, I have by no means mastered that. What people think still matters, just not as much as it used to. I'm seeing how wonderful it is to belong to God. To have Someone who will never leave me. To know that HE wants to be with me. . . FOREVER. He's not just waiting to dump me somewhere. He wants me. I belong to him. That is amazing.I wish I could write this so that it makes more sense so that it fills you with the idea of something beautiful, something magical. But I have not been gifted that way.

Another thing I've been thinking about is Christmas and what I really feel about it. I know some churches/families don't celebrate Christmas. I beginning to see their point. Believe me, I'm not ready to not celebrate it. I love Christmas. I love giving gifts, and getting them =), I love getting cards in the mail. But during this time of year all I seem to do is run to and fro. I guess it feels like I'm totally missing the point most of the time. Christmas is about a King being born in a manger, the Son of God becoming man so that we could be children of God. I get all caught up with the giving and receiving of gifts, and the Christmas suppers. I end up running around like chicken with it's head cut off. I'm doing something but missing something of much greater importance. It's sad that during this time of remembrance, I'm not remembering anything but who's next on my list or where I'm supposed to be next.